Discussion: Failed Communication

Greetings Masters,
Greetings Mistresses,
Greetings fellow kajiri,

For meryl the best way to for her to avoid a failure in communication is to just be honest about herself. Sometimes that means being honest with herself, first. Everyone has limits with what they can conceivably do well. Too much, and something starts to suffer. she thinks many women already push themselves a lot, but meryl knows being mother, wife, slave, student and tutor, she has a lot on her plate. she is lucky in that she has a Master who expects her humanity, not superslave!

meryl thought about what her greatest need as a slave would be. she wasn't sure how to answer that for awhile, until she figured she'd just be blunt. her greatest need as a slave is to be allowed to be herself. her whole self: as a slave, a woman, a mother, a student (since she is allowed to attend) ... she is not sure she is conveying this correctly, but she thinks expression in many different ways, but always with respect, is her greatest need. To feel she can say, do, express anything within the confines of her chosen lifestyle with Master and not be judged save that she maintains her respect, would be her greatest one.

With respect,

meryl

La kajira of Jaxxon Wallace

Discussion: Good Turns Bad

Greetings Masters,
Greetings Mistresses,
Greetings fellow kajiri,

meryl feels that the best way out of the cycle is to just not mince words and dive in. One can speak directly and respectfully at the same time. meryl has found this slave in the situation and usually because she kept things to herself that she thought would not be pleasing for someone to hear. As it turns out, meryl can perhaps say things that are displeasing to hear, but still need to be heard because withholding information about feelings or thoughts can sure cause a whole lot of a bigger mess than if she had just been open in the first place.

Hoping it makes sense....

With respect,

meryl

La kajira of Jaxxon Wallace

Mid-Terms!!

Things just went "bat-shit insane" as Master likes to say.

Have a lot to catch up on, naturally, but juggling well.

Just so busy... :(

Rambling Post

I wrote a post complaining about my various ills last week, but then I deleted it thinking it was just too whiny. I wasn't feeling well, but thank goodness that has passed this week.

I have actually read the next two chapters in Tarnsmen, but have yet to find the time to sit down and write them out, but they will be forthcoming. I've spent some time staying on top of the discussions and essays, and between that and going to school, being mommy, and His slave things have been settling into a pattern which does not leave a whole lot of personal time, yet I find myself fulfilled.

I actually had a pretty good vision for a dance to a song I like. Something about the freedom of prose in "dancing" online really calls to me. I am a big believer in interpretative dance, but this really goes a step further somehow. It's just a creative outlet. The entire thing is a wonderful creative outlet that I find is very nice.

Master has his operation today, and I am getting ready to give him is Valium.

Serve: Kal-da

dearest romani,

aymelek said the kal-da serve was to go to you so here is a prepared kal-da serve.

thank you for all your help,
meryl
La kajira of Jaxxon Wallace

girl reacts to a Master requiring kal-da:

/me flows over closed knees to lovingly kiss the furs before Him, a gleam to azure and emerald gaze as she backs away unobtrusively to rise to pointed toes, tawny locks and white rep sent flowing about creamy flesh as she twirls about, a measured saunter carrying her to the kitchen with a wink of sapphire flecked green over silken shoulder, a flash of a smile as she disappears into the kitchen

/me takes a moment in the kitchens, eyes alighting among the shelves to selecting a matching set that would please Him, a slight bend to her form pushes pale breasts to peek at plunging neckline while rep cloth rises upwards showing sharp lines of His kan`lara on left thigh and flash of metal from below, tawny locks flowing foreward as supple fingers tease the set from the shelves

/me rights herself, setting fluttering rep cloth to dance among the set, she admires the etched artwork of a snowy scene a large white larl prowling his domain, curve turning red lips upwards as crystalline water is added to the kettle and set to begin to heat, while she arranges the tray, making sure the rep cloth explores the rim of the bowl prior to resting admist the snow scene

/me heads for the cold room, inhaling deeply before stepping in to the frosty interior her breath escaping in the form of frost as goosebumps immeadiately claim creamy flesh and hide in draping rep, azure and emerald gaze alights on a bottle of kal-la-na, supple fingers teasing a fine wine from the racks before she selects from the bowls bits of freshly sliced larma and tospit

/me dances from the room on tiny feet, hip sliding to the left to bounce the door closed with a thump, a shiver shaking her form and bouncing golden kissed red tresses, the fruits finding their way into the kettle as she checks the heat, finding just the right time to add the ka-la-na, the distinct scent of kal-da soon permeating and drifting from the kitchen

/me deft fingers tease forth the proper spices, finding their way into the kettle and swiftly stirred with pleasure she smiles as the various pots and pans reflect her image back to her, she finally lifts the kettle from the warmth and pours forth a rich amount into the waiting mouth of the bowl before setting the kettle back to the flames should more be wished

/me settles the bowl back admist the snowy scene, supple fingers collect the tray and small measured steps carry her back to Him, a swirl in her belly as the desire to please Him draws her back to Him like flame to moth, tawny tresses flowing behind her as she flows to closed kneel before Him, dropping blue green gaze in respect as knees kiss in modesty pose

/me settles the tray to His low table, cupping her hands around the warmth of the bowl the snowy scene bright and pleasant as it is dances to her belly, drawing up across rusting white rep before the curve of red lips is placed lovingly to the side, heart pouding through her veins as she lifts the gleaming bowl up to Him reverently, lowing her head in silent offering

she wrote it in her current restricted circumstances, but it would different if she were unrestricted and permitted to speak, but only slightly so

Discussion: Motivation

What motivates you to sign on to the internet and come to IRC Gor?

Greetings Masters,
Greetings Mistresses,
Greetings fellow kajiri,

meryl admits in the beginning it was curiosity that brought her to Gor, even though it was not IRC at first. she found Gor through AOL and Ubar Luther's mailing list for His city, Delphius. she feels it was a good foundations for Gorean knowledge, but meryl always wondered if there was more to it. After awhile meryl learned that there was a group of people not just "role-playing" the situations, and meryl feels that's where the true emotional training began when she found IRC Gor.

Twists and turns, ups and downs, it just seems to flow by so swiftly through the years. She logged on for curiosity in the desire to learn more, she logged on in a sense of duty to a Home, she logged on in a sense of obligation, she logged on in a sense of hope.... then she stopped logging in at all, following her Master.

Now, meryl logs on in a sense of hope and desire to connect with people who are of the same mindset. she admits to begging not to have to log on at all, however, Master knew that the benifiets of this world that we all create in our shared vision far better than meryl did. Once she was back, and in a Home, surrounded by like minded people, safe yet held to an accountability of what she was... she laughed. She can't say if it was out of relief, joy, pleasure of being pleasing .... perhaps all of them.

With respect,

meryl

La kajira of Jaxxon Wallace

Slammed Week

The week was slammed hard. It seemed both long and short for both of us, I think.

I was allowed online but spent the evening chained to the slave ring. I am also not allowed to "speak" online, and when he has gotten me alone for some personal training, my ability to speak has been severely hindered.

I suppose it's just life's normal cycles.
It tires me right out!

Hopefully, it will slow down next week.